Name: Rebecca Dunwoody
Last seen: Late August 2009
Age at Time of Disappearance: 17 years old
Gender: Female
Birthday: November
Height: 5'6'
Hair: Short and Curly
Eyes: Blue and Grey
Race: Caucasian
Last seen Wearing: A stress-filled worried expression.
I feel like I've been missing since the beginning of 6th year. I feel like I've disappeared, I haven't been myself. I'm ready to come back again and to live once more.
I'm tired of just surviving, which is what I've been doing! I want to live!
I want to be me. I don't want to feel guilty every time I'm not sat down at a desk. I want to feel free. I'm counting down the days until June 23rd when I can finally be re-united with the missing person that I haven't seen since last summer.
I'm at the stage now that I don't care what I get out of this exam. I just want it to be over. I can decide what to do afterwards. I just want to be me again. I've missed me.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
The Five Stages of Pre-Exam Breakdowns
1. Denial
Don't worry its fine - its all good, i can deal with it, it wont be to hard, no worries.
2. Anger
Are you fucking kidding me!! this is shit - i don't know any of this how do they expect us to remember this?? "hey mate, calm down" - don't you fucking tell me to calm down - you can fuck off.
3. Bargaining
Shit i wish i didn't have to do this - its all over, I'm going to fail. I would do anything to not have to do this, just one more day to study, anything to get out of this .
4. Depression
It's fucked, I'm fucked, its all over - Leaving Cert over, I'm never going to pass, just give up now and drop out.
5. Acceptance
Yes i finally acknowledge i am fucked - but nonetheless i will do this exam anyway and hopefully get through it somehow.
At the beginning of the week I was undoubtedly in Stage 2.....Although I appear to have somehow jumped forward into Stage 5 today...... I hope it stays this way :)
Don't worry its fine - its all good, i can deal with it, it wont be to hard, no worries.
2. Anger
Are you fucking kidding me!! this is shit - i don't know any of this how do they expect us to remember this?? "hey mate, calm down" - don't you fucking tell me to calm down - you can fuck off.
3. Bargaining
Shit i wish i didn't have to do this - its all over, I'm going to fail. I would do anything to not have to do this, just one more day to study, anything to get out of this .
4. Depression
It's fucked, I'm fucked, its all over - Leaving Cert over, I'm never going to pass, just give up now and drop out.
5. Acceptance
Yes i finally acknowledge i am fucked - but nonetheless i will do this exam anyway and hopefully get through it somehow.
At the beginning of the week I was undoubtedly in Stage 2.....Although I appear to have somehow jumped forward into Stage 5 today...... I hope it stays this way :)
Saturday, February 6, 2010
The Big LC.....
Sometimes I think to myself what is the point in school any more? Why bother? Sure I know it all already. I'm so very naive and young when these thoughts breach my wisdom and come to surface in my mind.
I've learned a lot over the past week > a cliche, I'm well aware but so very true none the less. These mock exams have really awakened me to the reality that is the Leaving Cert. They've shown me how much I actually don't know. They've managed to serve their purpose in scaring the bajaysus out of me - and they're not even over yet!
I was under the impression that the big LC would be an absolute doddle, that I could pass it no problem.....I'm beginning to doubt that now. I've seen the light as they say. This is going to be a difficult few months ahead until June. I'm going to have to work my ass off to get the points I need for the Event Management Course in DIT.
I really want to do this course and I can't imagine doing anything else. The guidance councillor asked me recently about my other options on the CAO after Event Management. I looked at him with a look that said, What other options? I have to get this course.
My stress levels I think hit the maximum the other day when my very supporting and loving mother decided to inform me that the points are sure to sky-rocket this year because of the current economic downturn. The conditions in the economy at present are influencing thousands more mature students to apply via the CAO for places in Universities and colleges for this coming September. SO the good news is that I'm not only competing against the so many thousands of Leaving Cert students in the country, but now I get to compete with a load of old people too. Just fecking fantastic.
This worries me immensely especially because my course only has an availability of forty places. Forty! If I'm now up against increased competition to compete for a course that is said to be extremely competitive already then the points are surely going to shoot up. I can't imagine not getting this. It hurts to think about it.
I envy people who already applied for a PLC course and are already aware of their confirmed places in college - Yes, that is you Jade. These said people are doing the leaving cert "for the laugh" while people like me are doing it for our "life".
I've only now realised how vital this exam is to my future career and to my future happiness.....
I've learned a lot over the past week > a cliche, I'm well aware but so very true none the less. These mock exams have really awakened me to the reality that is the Leaving Cert. They've shown me how much I actually don't know. They've managed to serve their purpose in scaring the bajaysus out of me - and they're not even over yet!
I was under the impression that the big LC would be an absolute doddle, that I could pass it no problem.....I'm beginning to doubt that now. I've seen the light as they say. This is going to be a difficult few months ahead until June. I'm going to have to work my ass off to get the points I need for the Event Management Course in DIT.
I really want to do this course and I can't imagine doing anything else. The guidance councillor asked me recently about my other options on the CAO after Event Management. I looked at him with a look that said, What other options? I have to get this course.
My stress levels I think hit the maximum the other day when my very supporting and loving mother decided to inform me that the points are sure to sky-rocket this year because of the current economic downturn. The conditions in the economy at present are influencing thousands more mature students to apply via the CAO for places in Universities and colleges for this coming September. SO the good news is that I'm not only competing against the so many thousands of Leaving Cert students in the country, but now I get to compete with a load of old people too. Just fecking fantastic.
This worries me immensely especially because my course only has an availability of forty places. Forty! If I'm now up against increased competition to compete for a course that is said to be extremely competitive already then the points are surely going to shoot up. I can't imagine not getting this. It hurts to think about it.
I envy people who already applied for a PLC course and are already aware of their confirmed places in college - Yes, that is you Jade. These said people are doing the leaving cert "for the laugh" while people like me are doing it for our "life".
I've only now realised how vital this exam is to my future career and to my future happiness.....
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Surrounded
Wanting for so long.
Convincing yourself of it,
Telling yourself it's real
And wishing it would grow.
Seeing it all around you,
Surrounding those you know
A constant reminder to you
And never loosening grip.
Standing alone beside it,
Watching it as it moves
Further and further away
To take flight like a bird with wings.
Convincing yourself of it,
Telling yourself it's real
And wishing it would grow.
Seeing it all around you,
Surrounding those you know
A constant reminder to you
And never loosening grip.
Standing alone beside it,
Watching it as it moves
Further and further away
To take flight like a bird with wings.
Will he......?
- Respect the law.
- Cook
- Write
- Sing
- Have no coloured tattoos prior to being married with children
- Change nappies
- Get up in the night
- Be a guard - or any type of man in uniform...
- Be someone who laughs at my jokes.
- Have a bit of a belly
- Be healthy
- Have big feet
- Be intelligenter
- Wear brand name items of clothing
- Be clean
- *Be someone who doesn't own a phone.
- Be someone who loves me for me: (*Sleepwalking and bad dreams)
- Be respected by colleagues
- Have arms legs and a heart
- Be someone who doesn't do an arts degree in UCD
- Be someone who dresses well
- Be a non-smoker
- *Be a non-drinker
- Be a non-druggler
- Not be clingy whatsoever
- Have a nice family
- *Likes dogs
- Be 6ft tall
- Be someone who looks good in a dark professional suit (Party)
- Be someone who likes the same music
- Live local
- Watch skins etc
- Watch family guy etc
- Not take up the whole bed whilst sharing
- Be someone who doesn't make noises while sleeping
- Not hog the TV remote
- Stay quiet whilst out clothes shopping and tell you you look amazing babes.
- Have a pet name for you and you for him
- Be someone who has never seen nor been with another woman - Virgintino
- *Be someone who didn't go to Trinity or UCD
- Be someone who gets cold in the winter and has to wear a scarf and gloves
- Be someone who is not ashamed to wear a scarf and gloves
- Be someone who will accept my choice of baby names without question
- *Be someone who will understand why there will never be a photo of us ever.
- Be a cool dad
- Never cheat on me
- *Not see past my lies
- Want to travel the world.
- *Not like Spain or the sun in general
- *Be someone who doesn't order weird food from the curry shop
- *Not drink tea and or coffee.
- Be someone who likes my hair - no matter how many colours it is at the one time
- Play the guitar or any instrument, bar his own.
- Be good with kids
- Be a good assembler
- *Be religious - but not mad religious like.
- Not be a hoarder
- Respect my need to hoard
- Respect my OCD
- Like to snuggle
- Have the rhythm
- Please have no artificial limbs
- Be someone who can give a good high-five
- Be liked by my friends
- Be someone who minds our child while I'm at work
- Be capable of dressing our child nicely up to my standards when I'm not around.
- Not ever Shhhh me
- *Not eat sandwiches, beans, mashed potato, humous or any normal edible items.
- Be someone who can mind our child without mine or my mother's supervision
- Be someone who can look after the garden, the grass and the plants
- Not have a girl best friend
- Have a good eye for decorating
- Always let me be right
- Not take longer than me in the bathroom or to get ready
- Only own limited amounts of clothing.
- Be older than me *by 1 month to 3 years
- Have a sexy attractive accent eg french.....*Dublin north
- Be a good cuddler
- Be a hand-holder *only if hands are evenly matched in size
- Have Forest Gump as their favourite film
- Not behave like a woman
- Read
- Have a nickname
- Be able to hold a sarcastic conversation
- Be witty
- Be punctual
- Wear a watch
- *Have a secret not including: Secret love child, gay, other woman or an illness
- Be immortal
- Love to sleep as much as me
- *Know how to have a good time without the influence of alcohol
- Always aspire to be as amazing as Michael Buble
- Have long hair
- Blonde
- Blue Eyes
- Be either dublinese or American
- *Have any of the following names: Orlando, Portland, London, Paris, Skye, Sydney
- Let me, and me solely, organise our wedding day.
- *Have small hands
- Be my soul mate.
*These are all of the criteria which apply only to Jade and her requirements for a future suitor.
> This list was composed and written by Becca Woody and Jade Eiffe O'Toole in a rather advanced state of delirium mixed with hysteria.
Little Box
Holding onto memories
in a little throbbing box,
unable to let go
for a fear that it wasn't what it was.
Thinking, remembering, wishing,
What if?
If things had been different,
events not unfolding as they did.
Where would we be now?
In this place surely not,
Nowhere close to what's become
and what has so clearly not.
Deciphering through codes of passion
trying to distingush between
what's real and what's myth.
The truth is sometimes harder to take
Than what your mind sees to be real.
We search all our lives for answers,
answers to everything in life.
But why do we ask?
Why do we search for this reality
that is much harsher than what
we choose to believe.
For wouldn't life be much more enjoyable
if we chose to live in what is not?
in a little throbbing box,
unable to let go
for a fear that it wasn't what it was.
Thinking, remembering, wishing,
What if?
If things had been different,
events not unfolding as they did.
Where would we be now?
In this place surely not,
Nowhere close to what's become
and what has so clearly not.
Deciphering through codes of passion
trying to distingush between
what's real and what's myth.
The truth is sometimes harder to take
Than what your mind sees to be real.
We search all our lives for answers,
answers to everything in life.
But why do we ask?
Why do we search for this reality
that is much harsher than what
we choose to believe.
For wouldn't life be much more enjoyable
if we chose to live in what is not?
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