Riverside! Mother*&%$£!.....:)

The below post that I wrote yesterday somehow seems awfully irrelevant as I am now the proud new owner of a shiny new desk.............It's the most amazing thing that I've ever seen in my life (totally over-exaggerated, but hey that's me) and I absolutely love it :)



I'm sitting at it right now. It has a quirky little extra pully out thing that I wasn't aware it had until post-assembly.

Well... speaking of assembly. . . . I almost died today. My father almost killed me. We were after assembling the chair that we bought to go with the desk...it worked out fairly simple. I thought I was going to be a pro-DIY-er . . . .Boy was I wrong.

We got to work on the desk. It had about fifty pieces in total (again....over exaggerated). All pretty much identical, not specified or labelled in anyway (

So then we carried on. When we were nearly starting to see that it was a desk, like it was taking its shape. We then realised that we had assembled all of the legs wrong (I was the one to point this out also). So we sat on the ground and looked hopelessly at the various bits of white wood all around the room and this half-finished masterpiece in the middle of it all.

So then my dad turns to me and says:

"My leg's at me, I'm just gonna go in and lie down for a few minutes. You go on down and I'll give you a shout when I'm up"

So that suited me pretty fine, I was kinda tired and could do with a break. So I dander on downstairs. Turn on the TV, grab a glass of OJ. And so I'm sitting there, listening out for him to call me and then I hear something fall from my room. The bastard hadn't went for a lie down. He lied to me. He just didn't want my help anymore. My heart broke a little inside. I wasn't that hopeless......possibly more of a liability than an asset, I'll admit but still, it hurt.

I waited a few minutes and then went up to help him again. We eventually got it finished. Probably because I made myself keep my mouth shut for the rest of it......

It was a learning experience alright. I learned that I have no future in DIY and realised that I have to study for my LC and do well or I will be fucked. It's the LC or nothing for me......

There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light....

It just occurred to me that it's been a while since I've taken the time to actually blog properly. I haven't written a proper blog in so long.

Over Christmas my life was consumed with making study plans, not starting them, re-doing my bedroom, not getting that finished, wanting to start revision and never getting round to it and trying to choose college courses to put on the CAO but not coming to solid decision.... Come to think of it my life is starting to feel very incomplete right now.

I just finished filling in my CAO form two seconds ago......Is it right to regard this moment as the first one of the rest of my life?

I'm currently sat cross-legged in the middle of my newly-decorated-but-not-yet-furnished-bedroom. I have Celine Dion on the highest it will go to drown out the silence of the empty room. The room feels very big and I feel inadequately small......that's actually how I feel in life at this very moment. With all of this CAO business and choosing a future and all that jazz. I really don't like it. I'm an indecisive person and I can't believe that this time has come around so quickly. I remember thinking of it last year and thinking that it was miles away, that it was never going to come around and that I had ages to make up my mind and then BAM! Hit me straight between the eyes and it's here.

In fairness I had a little bit more of a warning than others. I seen it coming before some. I then tried to get those some motivated to choose something too (*cough* Hannah *cough*). They resented my blunt wake-up call and seen it as trying to panic them rather than the helpful I was trying to offer them. I was only doing it because I love them, and I want them to have a future.

All of this talk of futures and stuff got me thinking of how old I actually am....I can't believe it. 18 years of age, it doesn't feel like that. In some ways I feel my age and sometimes even older, but in others I feel like I should be still having girly sleepovers with Hannah, feeling rebellious watching 15 cert films and worrying about getting caught reading Bliss magazine. Those were the good days. It's not that I necessarily miss being younger, I do and I don't, it's just that I can't believe that I'm 18 already. It's strange. Odd even. Like I'm now officially regarded as an adult in society! It's crazy! I can buy drink, go out and vote!

It's also really annoying to think that legally I'm an adult but I still have to go to school and be treated as a child by teachers. Although in fairness, my teachers aren't half bad. They actually tend to be grand, if you treat them with respect they return it kinda thing. We're supposed to get our Swine Flu jabs next week and for the first time in our academic lives we can sign for it for ourselves. I know it's sad but I get a little bit of a thrill out of stuff like that.

I'm feeling very guilty right now....I'm sat here writing this blog and not where I should be which is sitting down studying! I just had a surge of motivation to write a blog, listen to some music and chill.

I'm blaming my lack of study on my lack of adequate workspace. I NEED A DESK. It's true I really do. I can't work on my bed. If i try to do anything on my bed I get too comfortable and then distracted and then somehow end up on facebook. It disastrous. I'm making a deal with myself that as soon as I get a desk I WILL start working. I promise. You can be my witness to this promise. And if I don't stand by it, give out to me.

Although saying that, who's going to be affected at the end of this? Me that's who. It's my future that's on the line. If I want to get my number one choice, which I do, I really really do, then I have to put my head down and start working for what I want, because if I don't then I won't get it. And it'll be my own fault, and I know that but hey, guess what? I'll blame it all on my lack of a desk.

I am in love with this man.......

This man is the most amazing person I've ever heard or seen in my life......... I'm gutted that he's engaged......there's my life plan out the window.....On to plan B!

It was the first of many........

We've had some pretty damn good times......

She told me to do a blog already.......so here it is :)

Best friends only come around once........

Cherish Them.....

I love you dear :)